We could make this moment ours, and i could hold you, touch your scars.

Listening to - This Providence - Waste Myself

Good day/bad day

Good day because i've realised how lucky i am and how much i actually love life.
I've realized how amazing my friends are and how lucky i am to have them, this is great, life's great.

But bad day because some girl that i was friends with a few months ago (who then turned into a complete DICK) was hanging round with this guy i find to be really...beautiful. And like she also seems to have made a load of friends and i dunno, i just haven't. It sounds pathetic i know, cause it's just like some boy i don't even know, some people i don't even know and an old friend, but it makes me sad because i haven't been making ANY friends.
Well okay i've made like two friends, and don't get me wrong, i absolutely appreciate them, but it's just like not as good as i would have hoped for i guess.

But now i've decided that all this has to change. Next week i'm going to college as a different person. Well, not completely. But i'm going to try really hard with the way i look, i'm going to actually bother with make-up and bother with which clothes i wear and bother with my hair.
I'm also going to try and be happier and smile more often and not look like such a depressive person. I NEED this. There's also a college party next week which i'm going to go to with Danielle, i've been told by Ben not to bother as "the music's too loud, you won't be able to talk to the friends you've got let alone make new ones" but i have to at least try. I need to feel accepted in college, and a way of going about doing that is TRYING, at least then i know i'm making an effort.

And also i guess getting a boyfriend would be nice. I've been single for almost two years now and it's just no fun anymore. And it's like even though i've been single that long it's not like i haven't had any love-interests, because i have, they've all just been complete DICKS. Well at least where my heart was concerned... I just kind of think i deserve someone nice now, after all this time, and the amount of times and to the extent i've been hurt.

I choose to be happy.

Like a feather in a hurricane
That's sweeping through my brain
I can't seem to find hope in this situation, love
Oh, so I tremble like an earthquake
Your tears are heavy rain
They drown my soul in apathy
like a flood, love
Singing now
<3